Life of my Life,
Soul of my Soul,
I am experiencing a self much more than me.
I am becoming of one heart, of one mind…
Yet of one heart, & of one mind
have I been split into half,
& into half, I’ve lived so far.
So far have I not been through thee.
So far have I so been this far
A detachment beyond detachment
—a tearing after tearing.
Never have I longed for pain
Though I have been in pain so long,
& never have I been a prayer,
& never have I been a song.
Yet I am more,
I am all in all, in you.
Flowing backwards to my destination,
Rooting forwards to my sources…
Back to where all comes back,
To death & to life, back to you…
Till then I stand to mourn existence in your absence
or the absence of your existence.
Till then I stand to question all the answers
& answer all the questions,
That I preemptively see…
You see, I chose.
I chose a choice seizes as it sets me free…
I chose to be what’s more than me…
I chose all joys, all laughs,
all fears, all tears,
as hot as flames,
as cold as ice,
Tears that tear my soul as they fall,
Whispering words into my words,
Rhymes into my rhymes,
Shedding hues into my heart.
As dark as hell’s embrace
—as bright as God’s face…
Tears that carve on my scorching soul,
a map within that reaches me home;
A map for the departure & the return,
The blazing trail towards myself
Coming back as though I have never left.
Leaving as if I have never come…
I chose a strength beyond me.
A strength of Love has seared me out of my existence
To become many.
To become none.
To become all.
To rise into my demise.
To feast upon my fall…
My Love has seared me,
fading within my powers.
My consciousness does wax and wane.
& as I conquer so does it drain…
Into an ever-lasting mist that must but be;
an ever-lasting light & ever-lasting darkness.
To find myself losing as I win
—gaining as I lose…
I, A light within the darkness,
Have lost the darkness within my Light,
In you, I mourn not losing my light,
But I mourn losing my darkness.
I have lost the gift of pain
To gain the pain of Love;
The sweetest of death could be
& the most bitter of Life…
I, finding the wholeness of time,
Have lost all sense of seasons
I, one who was lost in space,
All space was lost within my reason…
I am becoming;
Passing by time,
Into an existence much more than I.
Now I know;
That up till now I have never lived,
Or up till now I’ve never died,
Or nothing have I known at all.
I only know I am becoming.
I only know I am experiencing
A life more than my life;
A soul more than my soul…
O’ Life of my Life;
Soul of my Soul.